Can Someone Explain Me What Life Is?

My life makes no sense now.
Why do I struggle for?
I'm so sure that the goal that I will reach won't bring me happiness.
Who am I trying to please?
I have been acting so hard to get others' recognization.
What I have set my path?
This path looks messy and dumped with others' opinions.
Why should I live according to earn pride for the elders?
Can't I just hold the hand of my love and live for long?
Without any sort of division among us.
When will I find my happiness?
I have a lot of dull memories, which makes me a grumpy kid.
Who are you to judge me?
You are supposed to act this way!
This is wrong!
You will become a whore if you do this!
Who are you to say this?
Is your life so perfect and going well?
Why you interfere in my shitty life and make it even more bullshit?
Can't I get some peace of mind from all this?
A true vacation starts only in your mind, not in the place you visit.
If I question a lot, some oppose me and the rest judge me.
Is this the way life is supposed to be?
Having a younger sibling, make your life even worse.
Forget your childhood.
Act like an adult to your youngers.
Your life comes second, in front of them!
Your inner child dies in the due time.
But none of your younger siblings have time to look,
The hell you go through.
Not even your family and friends.
Did I sin so much in my past life?

The Words That I Want To Say Aloud!

LEAVE ME ALONE.

I never truly overcome anything.
For you, I may be nothing to be compared with.
And you can step over me without any hesitation.
But I remember the pain still.
Want to know how?
You may have walked away.
But I stayed.
Waiting.......
I hesitated to take the next step for so long.
I was frozen.
The nightmares haunted me.
Time didn't wait for me.
I missed a lot in my life.
I saw how others cared less,
So I got up on my own.
When realized that waiting for you,
Was utter useless.
I lost hope in you.
But it asked me to be independent.
I struggled to even take a step forward.
My heart was not ready to move on.
But my brain was asking for an act of revenge,
As it could not digest the lost things.
I couldn't tolerate the clash between the heart and mind.
So I broke a piece of me,
And left it there.
Just where you left me.
Then I took the next step.
Without hesitation.

This didn't stop there.
For all those who just walked over me.
Taking advantage over me.
There is still a piece of me.
Waiting there for you.

I suppose I lost many pieces of my heart.
Now I don't have much of a clash.
There is only less part of my heart to fight for.
And my mind has lost its kindness.
So you better don't mess up.
I don't hesitate anymore.

The Love That I Seek.

Not a fairy tale  fantasy,

But a companion,

To escape the reality together.

A love lost once,

Was reborn.

Once again.

But can't let go of its past memories.   

Hence born with insecurities.

Wishes to make lot of love memories.

That takes over my miserable days.

A moment to speak my heart out.

Without being judged.

Hence I can turn to the one,

When every one steps out from the zone.

A willingness for the both,

To step out from the comfortable zone.

To embrace each other in their sorrows.

A vow.

Which doesn't end with words,

Rather taken up in action;

Spoken  less.

I want your time.

Your attention.

Your interest.

And all I want is to be yourself.

That doesn't change due to time.

Not the love that stays along with time.

Rather that grows each day.

The Masks That I Wear!

Our personality is a mere mask,
It makes impossible to behave the same way with everyone.
Maybe judging people feels stupid.
When you never get to know the whole picture.
Rather we are all on the same page.
You chose to be bitchy with one,
Rather on the other hand;
You pick the other to pour out all the love you have.
Though they deserve it or not.
Yet still, we fight for one's approval.
So we end up,
Lost with all these tiny roles that you play.
Just like a puppet caught to do the show.
We lose our identity.
Rather dumped with responsibilities,
Fear to break one's heart.
The questions of one's future
Pushing Oneself to do everything, and to say "Yes" for everything
Though I don't want to.
Maybe pushing oneself to the end.
You might stand at the end of the cliff.
You might end up doing a programmed robot.
Acting in the way others chose you to do!
Rewinding.......
And the result.
'You never got to live your life'
It's never wrong to bend and let of things for the love in others.
But it must never come with the price of losing oneself.
Chose yourself.
See yourself in the bigger picture.
All the roles that you play.
It is still you!
You are over it.
Not one among the roles.
Fighting for other approval.
It is utter shit!

Introduction

Hello Reader,

Each one has a story to tell,

And so do I.

Keep your hopes low,

Mine is none different from you.

Yet still, I want to say.

As I have zipped lips,

But an open mind;

Which struggles to communicate,

So it found its way to you.

Each word that I write,

Is what I see,

Is what I feel.

Is what I hear,

Is what I go through.

And to my heart,

to feel less burden,

Of carrying all the emotions.

Shut deep inside.

Thus writing is the only source;

That I came up with to share my thoughts and emotions.

So read through all my posts.

If you come across anything that you to have gone through.

Let me know.

You are not alone.

Because I know, how it is to feel lonely.

And "I'm here for you"

Happy reading.